THE Father-General of the Bernabites, the friend of the Bishop of Verceil, died. As soon as he was dead Father La Mothe wrote to the person who was Vicar-General, and who held his place until a new election. He told him the same things he had told the other, and the necessity there was to have at Paris men like Father La Combe; that he had no one to preach the annual sermon in their church. This worthy Father, who believed Father La Mothe was acting in good faith, having learned that I was obliged to return to France owing to my indisposition, sent an order to Father La Combe to go to Paris, and to accompany me the whole journey, Father La Mothe having asked him to do so, on the ground that as he would accompany me, their House at Paris, which was already poor, would be saved the expenses of such a long journey. Father La Combe, who did not penetrate the venom concealed under this fair appearance, consented to accompany me, knowing that it was my custom to take with me ecclesiastics or monks. Father La Combe set out twelve days before me, in order to attend to some matters of business, and to accompany me only at the crossing of the mountains, which appeared to him the place where I had most need of escort. I set out in Lent, the weather being very fine, to the grief of the Prelate, who excited my compassion by the trouble he was in at losing Father La Combe, and seeing me go away. He had me taken at his expense to Turin, giving me a gentleman and one of his ecclesiastics to accompany me.
As soon as the resolution was taken that Father La Combe should accompany me, Father La Mothe at once set going everywhere the story that he had been obliged to do it, in order to make me return to France; although he knew very well that I was intending to return before we knew that Father La Combe would return. He exaggerated the attachment I had for him, making himself out a subject of pity; and on this everyone said that I ought to put myself under the direction of Father La Mothe. However, he dissimulated towards us, writing to Father La Combe letters full of esteem and of tenderness to me, praying him to bring his dear sister, and to serve her in her infirmity on such a long journey, and that he would be deeply obliged for his care, and a hundred similar things.
I could not bring my mind to leave without going to see my friend the Marquise de Prunai, notwithstanding the difficulty of the journey. I had myself carried, for it is impossible to go there otherwise, except on horseback, owing to the mountains, and I could not go in that way. I spent twelve days with her. I arrived exactly the Eve of the Annunciation, and as all her tenderness is for the mystery of the childhood of Jesus Christ, and she knew the part our Lord gave me in it, she received extreme joy at seeing me arrive to spend that festival with her. Nothing could be more cordial than what passed between us with much openness. It was then she told me that all I had said to her had happened, and a worthy ecclesiastic who lived with her, a very holy man, told me the same. We together made ointments, and I gave her the secret of my remedies. I encouraged her, and so did Father La Combe, to establish a hospital in that place, which she did while we were there. I gave the little contribution of the Holy Child Jesus, who has always made successful all the hospitals which have been established in reliance on providence. I think I forgot to say that our Lord also made use of me to establish a hospital near Grenoble, which subsists without other capital than providence. My enemies have made use of this subsequently to calumniate me, saying that I had spent my children’s property in establishing hospitals; although the truth is, that, far from having expended their money, I had even given them my own, and that these hospitals have been established merely on the capital of divine providence, which is inexhaustible. But our Lord has had this goodness for me, that all he has ever made me do for his glory is always turned into a cross. I have forgotten to speak in detail of many crosses and illnesses, but there are so many some must be kept back. In the illnesses I had at Verceil I had still the same dependence on Father La Combe, owing to my state of childhood, with the impression of these words: “And he was subject to them.” It was that state of Jesus Christ which was then impressed on me.
As soon as it was determined that I should come into France, our Lord made me know that it was in order to have there the greatest crosses I had ever yet had, and Father La Combe also had knowledge of it; but he said to me, that I must immolate myself to all the divine wishes and anew be a victim immolated to new sacrifices. He wrote to me: “Would it not be a fine thing, and very glorious to God, if he desired to make us in that great city serve as a spectacle to men and angels!” I set out, then, on my return with a spirit of sacrifice, to immolate myself to new kinds of sufferings. All along the road something within said to me the same words as St. Paul: “I go up to Jerusalem, and the Spirit tells me everywhere that crosses and chains await me.” I could not prevent myself from expressing it to my most intimate friends, who used their efforts to stay me on the road. They even wished all to contribute of what they had to stop me and prevent my going to Paris, in the belief that the presentiment I had was very true. But I had to go on and come there to immolate myself for him who first immolated himself.
At Chambery we saw Father La Mothe, who was going to the election of a General. Although he affected friendship, it was not difficult to see that his thoughts were other than his words, and that he had formed in his mind the design of destroying us. I speak of the behaviour of this Father only in obedience to the command which has been laid upon me to omit nothing. I shall be obliged, in spite of myself, to speak often of him. With all my heart I would gladly suppress what I have to say. If what he has done regarded only myself, I would willingly suppress it; but I think it a duty I owe to truth and the innocence of Father La Combe, who has so long been grievously oppressed and overwhelmed by calumny and by an imprisonment of many years, which according to all appearance will continue as long as his life. I feel myself, I say, obliged to expose all the artifices made use of to blacken him and render him odious, and the motives which have led Father La Mothe to adopt such a course. Although Father La Mothe appears heavily charged in what I say of him, I protest before God that I yet omit many facts.
I saw, then, very clearly his design. Father La Combe also remarked it, but he was resolved to sacrifice himself and to immolate me to all which he believed the will of God. Some even of my friends informed me that Father La Mothe had evil designs, but yet they did not imagine them so extreme as they were in reality. They thought he would send away Father La Combe after having made him preach, and that for this purpose he would get him into trouble. At Chambery it was interiorly said to Father La Combe, in the same way as it had been told him that we should be together, that “we should be separated.” We separated at Chambery. Father La Mothe went to the Chapter after begging Father La Combe with affected urgency every day not to leave me, but to accompany me as far as Paris. Father La Combe asked his permission to leave me alone at Grenoble, because he was very desirous of going to Tonon to see his family, and he expected to rejoin me at Grenoble after three weeks. It was with difficulty this was granted, such was the affectation of sincerity.
I set out for Grenoble and Father La Combe for Tonon. As soon as I arrived I fell ill of a continued fever, which lasted fifteen days, when that worthy begging friar had an opportunity of practising his charity. He gave me remedies, and these, joined to the fever and the change of climate, gradually consumed my disease. All those whom God had given me on my first visit to Grenoble came to see me during my illness, and exhibited extreme joy at seeing me again. They showed me the letters and retractations of that poor impassioned girl, and I did not see a person who continued influenced by her stories. The Bishop of Grenoble expressed more kindness than ever, assured me he had never believed any of them, and even offered me to remain in his diocese. They again pressed me to remain at the General Hospital, but it was not where you wished me, O my God; it was upon Calvary. Father La Combe and I were so penetrated by the cross that everything announced to us Cross. That good girl of whom I have spoken, who had seen so much persecution, and whom the Devil, so threatened, had many presentiments of the crosses that were about to pour upon us, and she said, “What do you want to go there for, to be crucified?” All along the road souls that were spiritual and influenced by grace spoke to us only of crosses, and this impression that “chains and persecutions await me” never quitted me for a moment. I came then, O my Love, to sacrifice myself to your hidden will. You know what crosses I have had to bear from my relatives. Oh, in what ill fame am I! In spite of all that, you nevertheless win souls in every place and at every time; and one deems such troubles amply paid should they procure the salvation and perfection of a single soul. It is in this place that you desired, O God, to make a theatre of your designs through the cross and the good that you will to do to souls.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MADAME GUYON 